It is easy for parents to identify
their child's physical needs: lots of good food, warm clothes when
it's cold, bedtime at a reasonable hour. However, a child's mental and
emotional needs may not be as obvious. Good mental health allows your
youngster to think clearly, to develop socially and to learn new
skills. Additionally, suitable playmates, encouraging words from
adults and guidelines for behavior are all important for helping your
child develop self-confidence, high self-esteem, and a healthy
emotional outlook on life.
Your child's physical and mental
health are both important.
Basics for a child's good physical
health:
- nutritious food
- adequate shelter and sleep
- exercise
- immunizations
- healthy living environment
Basics for a child's good mental
health:
- unconditional love from family
- self-confidence and high self-esteem
- the opportunity to play with other
children
- encouraging teachers and supportive
caretakers
- safe and secure surroundings
- appropriate guidance and discipline
Give Your Child Unconditional Love.
Love, security and acceptance should be at the heart of family
life. Your child needs to know that your love does not depend on his
or her accomplishments. Mistakes and/or defeats should be expected and
accepted. Confidence grows in a home that is full of unconditional
love and affection.
Nurture Your Child's Confidence and
Self-Esteem.
- Praise Your Child.
Encouraging your child's first steps or his or her ability to learn
a new game helps your child develop a desire to explore and learn
about his or her surroundings. Allow your child to explore and play
in a safe area where they cannot get hurt. Assure your child by
smiling and talking to him or her often. Be an active participant in
your child's activities. Your attention helps build his or her
self-confidence and self-esteem.
- Set Realistic Goals. Young
children need realistic goals that match their ambitions with their
abilities. With your help, older children can choose activities that
test their abilities and increase their self-confidence.
- Be Honest. Do not hide your
failures from your children. It is important for youngsters to know
that we all make mistakes. It can be very re-assuring to know that
Mom and Dad are not perfect.
- Avoid Sarcastic Remarks.
If your child loses a game or fails a test, try to find out how he
or she feels about the situation. Your youngster may be discouraged
and need a pep talk. Later, when your child is ready, talk about a
new way to play the game or study.
- Encourage your child. not
only to strive to do his or her best, but also to enjoy the process.
Trying new activities teaches children about teamwork, self-esteem
and new skills.
Make Time For Play!
- Encourage Your Child to Play.
To a child, play is just fun; however, playtime is as important to
your child's development as food and good care. Playtime helps your
child be creative, learn problem-solving skills and learn
self-control. Good, hard play, which includes running and yelling,
is not only fun, but helps your child to be physically and mentally
healthy.
- Children Need Playmates.
Sometimes it is important for your child to feel like "one of the
gang." By playing with friends, your child discovers his or her
strengths and weaknesses and develops a sense of belonging and how
to get along with other children. If there are no children in your
neighborhood, you might find a good children's program through
neighbors, local community centers, schools, or your local parks and
recreation department.
- Parents Can be Great Playmates.
Join in the fun! Playing Monopoly or coloring with your child gives
you a great opportunity to share ideas and spend time together in a
relaxed setting.
- Play for Fun. Winning is not
as important as being involved and enjoying the activity. One of the
most important questions to ask your child is "Did you have fun?"
not "Did you win?" In our goal-oriented society, we often
acknowledge only success and winning. This attitude can be
discouraging and frustrating to children who are learning and
experimenting with new activities. It's more important for
children to participate and enjoy themselves.
- TV use should be monitored.
Try not to use TV as a "baby-sitter" on a regular basis. Be
selective in choosing television shows for your child. Some shows
can be educational as well as entertaining.
School Should Be Fun!
If your child is about to start school, "playing school" can be a
positive way to give him or her a glimpse of school life. Try to
enroll your child in a good pre-school, Head Start, or similar
community program which provides an opportunity to be with other kids
and make new friends.
Your child should learn academic basics
as well as how to make decisions and cope with problems. Teachers
should encourage individual development and help children become
competent, healthy adults.
Provide Appropriate Guidance And
Instructive Discipline.
Your guidance and discipline should be fair and consistent.
- Appropriate guidance.
Children need the opportunity to explore and develop new skills and
independence. At the same time, children need to learn that certain
behaviors are unacceptable and that they are responsible for the
consequences of their actions.
As members of a family, children need to learn the rules of the
family unit. They will take these social skills and rules of conduct
to school and eventually to the workplace.
- Discipline and punishment.
Physical punishment may lead to resentment and more disobedience. It
is extremely important for parents to learn and develop disciplinary
skills, other than spanking or hitting.
Suggestions On Guidance And
Discipline:
- Be firm, but kind and realistic with
your expectations. Your child's development depends on your love and
encouragement.
- Set a good example. You cannot
expect self-control and self-discipline from your child if you do
not practice this behavior.
- Criticize the behavior, not the
child. It is best to say, "That was a bad thing you did," rather
than "You are a bad boy or girl."
- Avoid nagging, threats and bribery.
Your child will learn to ignore nagging, and threats and bribes are
seldom effective. Give your child the reasons "why" you are
disciplining him or her and what the potential consequences of his
or her actions might be.
- Talk about your feelings with your
child. We all lose our temper from time to time. If you do "blow
your top," it is important to talk about what happened and why you
are angry. Apologize if you were wrong!
REMEMBER, THE GOAL IS NOT TO
CONTROL YOUR CHILD, BUT FOR YOUR CHILD TO LEARN SELF-CONTROL!
Provide A Safe And Secure Home.
It's okay for children to feel afraid sometimes. Everyone is
afraid of something at some point in their life. Fear and anxiety grow
out of experiences that we do not understand.
If your child has fears that will not
go away and affect his or her behavior, the first step is to find out
what is frightening your child. Be loving, patient and reassuring, not
critical. Remember: the fear may be very real to the child.
Signs Of Fear
Nervous mannerisms, shyness, withdrawal and aggressive behavior
may be signs of childhood fears. A change in a child's normal eating
and sleeping patterns may also signal an unhealthy fear. Children who
"play sick" or feel anxious regularly may have some problems that need
attention.
Fear of school can occur following a
stressful event such as moving to a new neighborhood or changing
schools.
Children may not want to go to school
after a period of being at home because of an illness or having
increased contact with Mom or Dad during a summer vacation or a
holiday break.
When To Seek Help
Parents are usually the first to notice if their child has
problems with emotions or behavior. Your observations, and those of
teachers and other caregivers may lead you to seek help for your
child. If you suspect a problem, consult your pediatrician or contact
a mental health professional.
Warning Signs Of A Child's Mental Or
Emotional Disorder
The following signs may indicate the need for a professional
evaluation:
- decline in school performance
- regular worry or anxiety
- repeated refusal to go to school or
take part in normal children's activities
- hyperactivity or fidgeting
- persistent nightmares
- persistent disobedience or
aggression
- frequent temper tantrums
- depression, sadness and irritability
Where To Seek Help
Information and referrals regarding the types of services that are
available for children may be obtained from:
- mental health organizations,
hotlines and libraries
- professionals such as the child's
pediatrician or school counselor
- other families in the community
- family network organizations
- community-based psychiatric care
- crisis outreach teams
- education or special education
services
- family resource centers and support
groups
- health services
- protection and advocacy groups and
organizations
- self-help and support groups
Source: National Mental Health
Association
