Some family secrets are fun like
birthday surprises, or special gifts. Other secrets like abuse or
childhood trauma can cripple the human spirit with feelings of shame,
worthlessness and mistrust of others.
Check this list for signals
- There's something I cannot talk
about to anyone.
- My world would crumble if others
knew this.
- We pretend it didn't happen in our
family
- It must have been my fault
- Someone else would be too hurt is
this came out
- I have to hide my anger about this
experience
- I'm afraid my children are being
affected by this secret
If you can identify with any of these
concerns, consider talking to a LSS counselor. Confidential support
can give you courage to sort out feeling, issues and choices.
Feeling that we have to hide something
from others is a heavy burden. Psychologist Gershen Kaufman says, "to
live with shame is to feel alienated and defeated, never quite good
enough to belong. And secretly we feel to blame. The deficiency lies
within ourselves alone. Shame is without parallel a sickness of the
soul."
Secret fears and anger can leave us
paralyzed, cut off from close relationships. We cannot go back and
make over those experiences but counseling can provide a bridge to
healing. Counselors give us the support and courage we need to
identify the painful issues, express grief or anger, and learn how to
nurture and affirm our own worth.
Some things we can change. We can
reclaim respect and dignity. We can begin to restore an essential
inner peace that allows us to grow and share our lives more fully with
those we love. We can learn to celebrate life again.
© 2000, LifeWorks Employee Resource
