When we're in conflict with someone we
love, it can be very stressful and emotional. Arguments with loved
ones can leave us feeling angry, frustrated and at times fearful that
we may lose the relationship. Conflict between couples is quite
normal, unavoidable, and can even be healthy.
When two people come together, they
bring to the relationship different values and life experiences. It
takes time to learn how to work with and respect each other's
differences. Conflicts also can be brought on when we are faced with
managing finances or balancing the challenges of work and life.
Relationship conflicts can sometimes be
overwhelming. Often, we're so enmeshed with another person that we
cannot see what the real issues are.
Although we all have a tendency to
avoid conflicts, problems don't go away unless we acknowledge and deal
with them. By addressing minor disagreements early on, you can avoid
full-blown arguments down the road.
Be timely and direct: Clearly identify
the specific issue that you're angry about; address the concern
immediately. Don't "stockpile" issues.
Stick to the issue: Talk only about the
current concern, don't drag up something that happened two month ago
that bothered you.
Use "I" statements: Talk about how you
are feeling and what you would like to be different.
Be prepared to compromise: Find
solutions that allow a win-win situation.
Take time-out: When emotions hit the
boiling point, take a break and resume the discussion when you have
both cooled off.
© 2000 LifeWorks Employee Resource
